• Chantal Porter

5 Benefits of Spending Time with Yourself


How comfortable are you in an empty room? By now you’re probably thinking about a room that only has four walls but no furniture. Sorry to disappoint you but that is not what I mean. The empty room in this situation refers to a room devoid of people not furniture. See, for many of us being alone is a scary thought so we surround ourselves with people who we really shouldn’t be spending time with to protect us from one major thing; our thoughts. If you are getting defensive about what I just said, then probably you’re struggling with this too but you just can’t admit it. Listen, Rome wasn’t built in a day so getting comfortable in your own company might take some time.

The current Coronavirus situation has forced people all over the world into self-isolation and quite frankly it reminds me of your typical ‘doomsday movie’. Fear is now controlling the masses so it’s hard for anyone to see clearly in such a critical time. Please note that I am in no way trying to undermine the severity of our present reality but I can guarantee that there is some glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel. You now have the opportunity to spend some quality time doing some kind of self analysis. Mistakes are intertwined with human nature so it’s time to step back a little and allow yourself to be alone.

I have been tempted repeatedly by Youtube, Instagram and Netflix and I have shamelessly indulged but I have realized my folly. You see, I could sit here, laptop in hand, typing a web of lies on how I have spent my time wisely but I too have been afraid of quietly sitting with myself. Afterall I know I have some pretty hard questions to answer and as expected I’m not really looking forward to it. What I can tell you however is that it is a necessary part of your growth and development. You can’t manifest the life you want to live if you never actually sit down to think about it.

Here are five of the major advantages of spending time to know yourself:

1. You’re not easily persuaded by the opinions of others:

As human beings we like to be accepted by everyone. We fear rejection and this often leads to us denying what we truly want so that we can fit in with the times. Popularity is currently stealing all the originality in the world and we see evidence of this in the way many of us are quickly persuaded by what is displayed in the media. Now while there may be some truth to this, I believe that the more grounded you are the less likely it is for you to ditch your opinions or standards because someone else suggests an alternative. According to betterhelp you should embrace your alone time, make your own decisions and just take control of your life.

2. You will know who you are in your relationships (learning to love yourself first):

This is no secret- people are constantly entering committed relationships for the wrong reasons. Loneliness should never push you to the point of living with someone simply because you don’t want to be alone. Why? It’s just not fair! It’s not fair to you and especially not fair to the person you are dating. We can’t really love anyone else until we experience this thing called love first-hand by loving ourselves. My question to you is, how can you love someone that you do not know? Spending time with yourself will teach you what makes you, YOU. So don’t be shy, spend some quality time with yourself, find out your likes, dislikes, what you want or don’t want for you etc. Once you’ve grown to love who you are, your relationships will become more stable and it will be much easier to find a level-headed partner.

3. You will be better able to control the way you think and act.

An unstable mind causes heartache, heartbreak and pain. Have you ever been accused of speaking without thinking first? Well I have before on multiple occasions. Remember this, if you have no control over the mind, then you have no control over the body. Our actions are bi-products of our daily thoughts. I have heard that wherever intelligence fails anger will finish the job. We ought to be mindful of the way we think and what better way to do that than spending some time with ourselves? I’m sure that some of your thoughts may actually scare you but you don’t need to be afraid. You have the power to control your thoughts and in so doing control your actions. To do this you will need to spend quality time in solitude.

4. You will have a much better understanding of what you want for yourself (goals, career etc).

What are your dreams? Where do you see yourself in the next 5-10 years? You probably haven’t spent much time thinking about that and therein lies the problem. We often times latch on to traditional careers that we don’t give much thought to. I grew up thinking that I wanted to be a Meteorologist but I couldn’t understand why. After spending some time with myself it finally occurred to me that all I really wanted to do was to be on TV. So Meteorology was never truly a passion of mine. You can spend prime years of your life chasing a dream that isn’t yours if you do not know who you are, what you want and why you want what YOU WANT.

5. It will help to eliminate indecisiveness.

Do you struggle with choosing your next meal of the day? Do you change your outfits a million times before finding the perfect one (that you still hate by the way)? Well my friends and family would probably be cheering for me at the sound of this one and I believe I've gotten a bit better. A few years ago you could never ask me what I was thinking about for dinner or lunch or anything because I had no clue. I convinced myself that I hated food and it seemed like a pretty good excuse to not know what you wanted to eat at any point in time but it got old. The more I decided to spend time alone however I realized that I do have some favorites and I am generally able to make better decisions. (Ps. I'm still struggling with finding an outfit though)...

What are you waiting for? Stop cheating on yourself with everyone else. Step back a little, use this COVID-19 crisis to do some soul searching. It’s not too late to find out who you really are. Listen, your likes, dislikes, character etc are not set in stone so if you find traits that you’re not comfortable with during your search don’t be disheartened. Work on the person that you were always meant to be: :-)

If You

What would you change if

You could with the snap of a finger?

Who would you love if

You were not afraid of what people would utter?

Where would you be if

You understood how much you matter?

When will you show the world who you really are..

By: Chantal Porter

To The Future You!

“When you connect to the silence within you, that is when you can make sense of the disturbance going on around you.” ― Stephen Richards

65 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All