• Chantal Porter

How to be an Adult-Finding your Independence

Updated: Aug 28, 2019


Do you remember when you wanted to grow up and become an adult? You envisioned all the things you would do, all the places you would visit, probably even decided on the type of family you would have. For many young girls and boys, adulthood is this magical time when you get to make all your decisions on your own, with no one telling you what you can or can't do. It seems like yesterday that I had a similar perception. Somehow as a child, you are led to believe that once you become an adult, everything falls into place. You believe that you will have the money, the cars, the clothes, the job or business, and life is one big ball of happiness.


Now, this might scare you, but life doesn't always work out the way you want it. The scariest realization for me happened at about 22 years old. I had just finished University, and I expected all my fantasies about adulthood to appear at my doorstep (the only thing that I received was a lovely reminder about my student loan). The truth is, no one ever really tells you how to be an adult or what to expect. For many adults, adulting is not a fun activity, and some even wish to return it to the sender, because they don't understand it. Unfortunately, it is non-refundable, so we'll have to deal with it. With that being said let's look at how to be an adult.


Here are 14 ways on how to be an adult.


1. Take full responsibility for your actions


This is a major part of being an adult, and it is a sore point for many, especially during the years of early adulthood. The transition from childhood to adulthood can be tricky. Many adults still find themselves blaming their parents, guardians, and peers for the problems they face. But, as an adult, all that happens in your life is your responsibility


2. Be grateful


One of the many things I learned when I became a 25 year old was gratitude. I was always grateful for the things I received but gratitude itself is much deeper. There is no manual on how to adult but once you understand gratitude adulthood feels more promising.


3. Save money and make wise investments


Remember that as an adult you are responsible for yourself. You, therefore, need to ensure that you have money saved in case of a rainy day. A lot of adults waste most of their money during their early adulthood years, forgetting to plan for the future. Don't be like this!


4. Plan your days


Unplanned days are often unproductive and they also facilitate procrastination. Plan your days and work through them to meet your targets and goals. A plan or schedule will give you control over your life.


5. Build a support system


Read this carefully, everyone around you will not have your best interest at heart. For this reason, learn to choose your circle wisely. It is ok to be selective of your friends and even family that you spend your time with, and you do not have to explain yourself to anyone.


6. Learn to control your reactions to situations


Every comment that someone makes does not deserve a reaction. As an adult, you should be able to control your anger and other emotions. It will affect how you to relate to others and how others relate to you as well.


7. Pay your bills

Adulthood and bills are best friends! As an adult, a part of your responsibility will be to cover your grocery bills, car payments, electric bills, etc. As a result, a stable source of income is necessary to ensure that you are a fully functioning adult.


8. Get a job/ Start a business/ Or do both


As an adult, you should be able to provide for yourself. Getting a job or starting a business will allow you to take care of your needs and wants. Furthermore, you will also be able to provide for any dependents that you may have.


9. Learn how to use an ATM


I really wished someone spoke to me about this in my adolescent years. An ATM allows you to access your hard earned money so as an adult you must know how to use an ATM.


10. Take your health seriously


Eat healthily and exercise! Remember that your physical and mental health is your responsibility. As mature people, we have to accept that whatever we intake ( food, books, movies, etc.) will have a direct impact on our being. For this reason, we need to make informed decisions, that will impact our lives positively.


11. Check up on people who are important to you


Keep in touch with the people that you love and value. It is easy to forget loved ones while you are adulting, so you will need to make a conscious effort to stay connected. Being busy with work or other affairs come with adulthood, but it should not be used as validation to ignore the people you care about.


12. Create a budget


Work out how your earnings will be spent so that you can allocate your funds. You want to ensure that your expenses do not outweigh your income as this will lead to bad debt. Bad debt affects your ability to access home and car loans because it negatively affects your credit score.


13. Be 100% honest with yourself


Be honest with yourself about where you are in your life. Consider your circumstances and make conscious decisions. Do not lie to yourself as this will only work against you.


14. Learn to do simple house chores


You should be able to clean up after yourself, do the laundry and prepare a meal. After all, you are no longer your parents' responsibility, because you are now an independent individual. Learn these basic skills so that you can fully take care of yourself.



Always remember that life is a journey and you learn new things each day. Use this principle to govern your life and things will eventually fall into place. No one has all the answers so stop beating yourself up, and have a little fun! Adulthood should not be feared but embraced and accepted as a new chapter filled with wonderful opportunities. I hope you now have a better understanding of how to be an adult.







"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."-Helen Keller


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