©2019 by CPwRites.

  • Chantal Porter

Learning How To Build Self Confidence

Updated: Jun 25, 2019

Who are you? Better yet, who do you want to be? One of the hardest things for me was figuring out who I am, not who I am supposed to be. It's ok to have to mentors or people you look up to and admire. The problem lies in trying to emulate their path when deep inside you know that it's not for you. Probably no one else has told you this, so let me be the first- you are enough. Your dreams and aspirations are worth striving for even if it doesn't line up with those of your peers, family or community. You must figure out how to believe in yourself first before anyone believes in you. The lack of belief in one's abilities generates a feeling of insecurity. So, before we look even at how to build self confidence, let us assess how to deal with insecurity.


What is insecurity?


According to Vocabulary.com, insecurity is a feeling of uncertainty, a lack of confidence or anxiety about yourself. In other words, it's that inner voice that is always ready and willing to tell you what you can or can't do.


A lot of us, when we reflect on life, we do so from a place of regret and remorse. We judge ourselves harshly for decisions that we made, and we walk around burdened. Sadly, this feeds into other areas of our lives and creates a falsified version of who we really are.


Here are some examples of insecurity creeping into our lives:


1. I really need to lose some weight.

2. Noone really likes me.

3. I will never pass that exam.

4. I am so unattractive.

5. Everyone else is more qualified for that job than I am.

6. I don't know how to talk to people so I probably won't be good at that job.

7. Let me leave that to the brighter minds, I never did well in school anyway.


When that inner voice tries to take over, here's how you can win the conversation. Let's take a look at how to deal with insecurity and how to build self confidence.


Dealing with insecurity requires deliberate action.

Step 1-


Write down your thoughts.- Every time a negative thought creeps into your mind, observe it and write it down.

Step 2-


Combat the thoughts with something positive.-For every negative thought that you wrote down, write down a positive one to oppose it.


Step 3-


Verbalize the positive thoughts you wrote down about yourself. It might sound crazy, but it works. Say positive things about yourself out loud to combat the negative self talk happening on the inside.


Step 4-


One of the best ways to rid yourself of insecurity is by playing the opposites game. If your inner voice tries to convince that you can't do well in an exam, work hard and prove that voice wrong. Check out my previous article on how to overcome self doubt and believe in yourself if you need a more detailed explanation.


How to build self confidence


1. Try something new each day-


Trying something new each will definitely help to build your self confidence. Take on a new skill or something that will challenge you and boost your self-esteem.


2. Put your best self forward each day-


If you struggle with self-image, there are ways that you can work through it. Dress in a way that makes you feel confident and comfortable and it will do wonders for your self confidence.


3. Plan and prepare-


One of the major reasons behind insecurity and the lack of self confidence is poor planning and prep. For example, if you have exams coming up, do not wait until the night before to begin your studies. You will feel anxious, insecure and stressed. Always prepare!


4. Work on your craft-


Spend time to sharpen your skills and talents. If you're a speaker or host learn how to talk to people. The more you feel you know about your skill area or area of study, the more confident you will feel.


5. Engage in positive self-talk-


Meditate each day, reflect on life and think on positive things. In this way, you will change your mindset over time and eliminate negativity from your life.


6. Set goals for yourself-


Confident people know where they are going. Uncertainty about your goals, career path, and future will only breed insecurities.


7. Put in time for physical activity-


Exercise has always been a great way to boost confidence. Put in at least 30 minutes per day and reap not only health benefits but a level of heightened self confidence.


8. Work on your weaknesses while building on your strengths-


Spend time honing your strengths and developing your craft. Furthermore, work on your weaknesses as well to build your confidence.



I hope this inspired you to take on the challenge to learn how to build your self confidence.and change your life.




"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing."-Walt Disney