• Chantal Porter

Self Acceptance- Learning To Love Myself

Updated: Aug 28, 2019

Everybody's different...

No two people on this planet are exactly the same, not even identical twins.

So why is it so hard to celebrate our differences? Here's my story..

I grew up feel sorry for myself for more than half of my life. I resented myself for some of the decisions I made and I used to spend hours crying about some things that I really could not change. I never truly believed in myself or my abilities and I gave myself excuses as to why I couldn't.... One of my greatest struggles, was learning to love the skin that I am in. I would listen to all the songs that spoke of brown and light skinned women and I wondered why I couldn't look like them. Furthermore, I was the darkest one in my family, so I literally felt like the black sheep.

Ofcourse I never spoke of this to my parents because my feelings were not derived from anything said by the family. This concept of myself was created through my interactions with the public via television, school and church. I can clearly remember one particular time where I went out with a friend and someone asked, ‘where yuh going wid this black pickney?’ I was hurt to my core, because it was coming from a black woman. Feelings of self-doubt were triggered within me and I wondered if being black was a bad thing. My mother always tried to reassure me of how beautiful, precious, and loved I am, as if though she knew what was on my heart. Nevertheless, I would still tell myself that every mother felt that way about her child or children.

The journey towards self acceptance has been real. Luckily, fast forward to today I am in a much better place. I now understand the blackgirlmagic that I have been blessed with and I could not be more proud of of my black skin. There are two things that I believe we are all guilty of, we say things that we don’t really mean, and we comment we don't understand. Always remember words can hurt, so have some empathy for the way others interpret what you say. I’m not saying that you should be walking on ice around people. I only ask that you treat others how you would want to be treated. Try to spread love on a daily basis, especially toward children and teenagers.

Self acceptance is a beautiful thing. The moment you decide to accept yourself you become more aware of who you are as a person. Society no longer dictates how you should feel and the only opinion of yourself that truly matters is your own. This my friends does not happen overnight; it is a process. Furthermore, there will always be things about yourself that you might not be 100% comfortable with and that is OK. Just remember to be true to who you are, and you will learn to accept yourself, flaws and all.

If you asked me a few years ago to share this story I would have given you a flat-out no. I was so caught up on what people thought about me. Here’s what I have learned in recent years though, I am not alone in my insecurities and I need you to remember this as well. Self-acceptance will come, once you decide to be honest with yourself.

Self acceptance quotes:

  • "Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are”- Kurt Cobain

  • “The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”- Mark Twain

  • “You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.”- Amy Bloom

At the end of the day, self acceptance is something that you will need to work on continuously. Here are my final thoughts, on this journey called life, you are good enough, learn to love the skin that you are in and strive to be a better version of yourself each day. So here I am a black woman, with relaxed hair, natural hair, sew-ins, braids, wigs whatever I FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” - Sharon Salzberg

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