• Chantal Porter

Beginners Guide to Dating- The Millennial Opinion

Updated: Aug 26, 2019

Let's clear the air before we begin, I am not an expert on relationships nor dating, but I can teach you a thing or two. Now, dating is sometimes confused with being in an actual relationship, but they're not the same. The funny thing is, you would not be wrong if you said you are dating your partner. Nevertheless, just so that we are on the same page, let's look at dating before the 'whole commitment thing'.

According to the Urban Dictionary, Dating is where two people who are attracted to each other spend time together to see if they also can stand to be around each other most of the time. Dating is a fun experience! You meet new people, different personalities and you learn new things about yourself as well. Most people have this idea of the type of person they want as a partner. On many occasions, however, that is all it is, an idea. Bear in mind that people date for multiple different reasons. It could be for fun, to stifle the loneliness they feel, to find love, to find a lifelong partner and whatever else. So, while you're dating remember that everyone you meet might not have the same vision or objective that you have.

Dating is supposed to be the get to know you phase. It is a time when you have picnics at the park, go on dinner dates, go to the movies (hold off on the Netflix and chill), and other fun stuff. Sadly, in a hurry to find someone to commit to, people tend to rush through this phase. Recall your typical romance movie, where either the guy or the girl says I thought I knew you... Why do you think this happens? People want to belong to something or someone so bad that they teleport through the dating phase. Don't be like this!

Secondly, don't walk with your checklist on your date. Read that again until you get it. Imagine this, you're just meeting someone for the first time, and you have already decided that this person should be 6ft 4, medium-built with blue eyes, a huge house, no kids, and parents who are married. That was a lot! Your entire brain space will be taken up with figuring out if this is one. So what does that mean? You will probably leave the date not knowing anything about the person because you forgot to listen. Ultimately, you were too busy checking in on your checklist, that you missed the opportunity to check out your date.

Here's the hard truth all your dates will not turn out well. You won't feel this undeniable connection to everyone you meet (luckily), but it'll happen with at least one person eventually, or better yet hopefully. It is always best to have a dating goal in mind. If one such goal is Love and Marriage, it might not be wise to shove it down someone's throat on the first date. You might scare away a potential husband or wife with this commitment crazed approach. Furthermore, while searching for a potential partner, ensure that you embody the qualities that you want to see in them first. Don't demand what you're unable to serve!

Dating is the first phase or preamble to a relationship. But it should also happen during the relationship. It's the time or moments in which you get to know someone a little bit better. Thanks to technology, dating is no longer dependent on a face to face meeting, but it can also take place online. Online dating, however, is an entirely different discussion that we'll have to look at some other time. I hope you learned a few lessons from our talk that you can use on your next outing.

"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."- Charles M. Schulz

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