• Chantal Porter

My Thoughts On Why You Don't Need to Fit In

Updated: Jun 16, 2021

I want to start off by saying, this is not a regular blog. Consider it a conversation on something that I have struggled with my entire life. As a young child I didn't feel like I fit in anywhere. It always seemed liked I was the odd one out of whatever group I joined. I remember hearing that I was just different on multiple occasions. At the time I had no idea what that meant. Here are a few of the questions that would often come to mind:

  • Is it bad different or good different?

  • Why am I not like everyone else?

  • Why don't I fit in?

  • What can I change so that I don't stick out anymore?

Growing up I was not the social butterfly. Didn't have many friends then and I still do not have many friends today. I felt like an outcast for quite a while because I didn't seem to connect well with the majority of my peers. What do I mean? Quite a few people spoke to me but I only ended up with two friends at the end of High school. By the time I started college however I formed a few more friendships but I still felt like I didn't belong.

Fast forward to present day and I am in a much better place. I have come to terms with a lot of things that affected me on a larger scale when I was younger and I know how to deal with insecurity. If you struggle to fit in it is okay. When I look back now, I wonder why I desperately wanted to fit in, when clearly it's so much better to stand out and apart from the crowd? The thing is, as a child you don't understand certain concepts. There is so much beauty in difference, that each child should be encouraged to chart a path for him/herself.

Here are three reasons why you should never feel like you need to fit in:

1. Sameness is boring.-

How do you feel about school uniforms? Can you imagine wearing them everyday for the rest of your life? I bet that's a no, because they are undeniably boring and they stifle your personality. Here's another example!

Imagine this scenario:

You were invited to a party and when you walked into the room, you saw three other women or men fully clad in your outfit. I know I would be really upset if this happened to me, so I will assume that you would have a similar reaction. You would also try to validate yourself by thinking that you wore the outfit better. Do you see where I am going?

If being the same on the surface is unappealing and boring, shouldn't we have a similar view of sameness below the surface? Food for thought.

2. Success comes to those who are daring enough to step away from societal norms.-

Successful people don't become successful by doing the same things that everyone else does. They are bold enough and determined to be different. For example, if you want to start a business, you must be willing to endure the comments of naysayers. Whenever you decide to go against the grain you will be tested repeatedly by your subconscious and by those who have chosen to fit in. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! To become successful you must find your voice and use it. Read this carefully- Don't allow fear to convince you that you need to belong somewhere that you truly do not belong.

3. You owe it to yourself to be who you were meant to be.-

Putting on a fake persona to blend with the group will not pay off in the end. It will drain you of all your energy, time, dreams and resources. I know I have said this before, but it is ok to be different. So what if you're the only one wearing a particular hairstyle or pursuing a particular goal? Chances are in the end everyone will love you for it, and if they don't, it doesn't hurt to be happy with yourself and financially stable. Whenever you stifle who you are to fit in at an event or in a group, it suppresses who you are on the inside. In other words, one day at a future date you will wake up and look at yourself in the mirror trying to figure out who you are and what you stand for. You don't need to smoke at that party because everyone's doing it. That's by far the dumbest excuse that has lived throughout the ages. Stand up for what you believe in, be you at all times and love yourself for it. After all, fitting in is so overrated!

You don't need to fit in anywhere. Be You, Be Bold and Show the world what you are made of. We live in a world where too many people are heavily caught up with being someone else
Beauty in Difference

The photo above is a simple illustration of how beautiful it is to be different. They're all flowers but that doesn't mean that they need to have the same color or shape. Think on these things. Until next time, this is CPwRites-To The Future You!

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover."- Mark Twain

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